Getting More

Stuart Diamond's Getting More dismantles the foundational myths of traditional negotiation—the primacy of logic, the necessity of leverage, and the zero-sum game of 'win-win.' It proposes a radical, evidence-based alternative forged from two decades of research across 45 countries: the most powerful tool in any interaction is not power, but the other party's emotions and perceptions. This human-centric model, which trained 30,000 employees at Google and resolved the 2008 Hollywood writers' strike, argues that value is perpetually left on the table when we fail to see the world through our counterpart's eyes.

Diamond structures his methodology around a practical toolkit of twelve strategies, including the use of standards, framing, and incremental agreements. The core practice is rigorous role reversal, a disciplined effort to diagnose the underlying interests, fears, and desires that logic often obscures. The book systematically demonstrates how to apply these tools across a staggering range of contexts, from securing a multimillion-dollar business deal to persuading a reluctant child, proving that the principles are universally scalable.

The narrative is driven by over 400 concrete case studies from Diamond's Wharton course and consulting work, illustrating how small perceptual shifts yield disproportionate results. These stories show a woman negotiating her way out of an arranged marriage, a traveler obtaining a refund on a non-refundable ticket, and executives discovering hidden profit through better relationship management. The emphasis is consistently on expanding the pie of value through collaborative inquiry rather than claiming a larger slice through adversarial tactics.

Ultimately, Getting More is less a business manual and more a treatise on human interaction. Its legacy lies in redefining negotiation as a daily life skill essential for anyone seeking better outcomes in careers, relationships, and personal goals. It targets readers weary of transactional conflict, offering a replicable system for building agreements that are not merely accepted but embraced by all parties, thereby creating more durable satisfaction and trust.

Readers champion the book as a transformative, practical toolkit that reframes negotiation as a collaborative life skill. They praise its actionable frameworks, especially the focus on empathy and standards, and the compelling real-world anecdotes that illustrate every principle. A recurring critique notes the prose can feel repetitive, with some stories stretching to reinforce straightforward points, and a few readers express ethical unease about the potential for manipulative application, despite the author's caveats for sincerity.