How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less

Nicholas Boothman’s 'How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less' posits that successful human interaction, whether in business, love, or daily life, is not a mysterious art but a learnable science of connection. Drawing from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and practical psychology, the book argues that the fleeting window following an introduction is decisive, establishing the tone for all future relations. It dismantles the notion that charisma is innate, presenting it instead as a series of replicable behaviors centered on the concept of 'synchrony'—the deliberate alignment of one’s own communicative output with that of another.

The methodology is built on a tripartite framework: synchronizing attitude, body language, and voice tone. Boothman contends that a consciously adopted attitude of openness and curiosity is the essential foundation, which must then be physically manifested. The book provides a detailed lexicon of nonverbal cues—from posture and gesture to eye contact and facial expression—teaching readers to first observe and then subtly mirror their counterpart to build unconscious rapport. This physical alignment is complemented by vocal pacing and tonality, creating a multisensory experience of harmony.

A core technical component involves identifying a person’s primary representational system: visual, auditory, or kinesthetic. Boothman provides diagnostic questions and phrases to discern whether someone thinks in pictures, sounds, or feelings, and instructs the reader to tailor their language accordingly. Speaking someone’s 'sensory language' bypasses cognitive filters, making communication feel intuitively correct and deeply understood. The book also covers practical strategies for opening conversations, employing effective compliments, and reading subtle eye-accessing cues that signal a person’s internal thought process.

Ultimately, the book serves as a tactical field manual for anyone whose success depends on the quality of their face-to-face interactions. It targets sales professionals, managers, negotiators, and even those navigating personal relationships, offering a structured, time-bound approach to transforming strangers into willing collaborators. Its legacy lies in demystifying the mechanics of likability, framing it not as manipulation but as the skilled and ethical practice of empathetic communication, where the goal is mutual understanding and benefit.

The readership is sharply divided, producing a polarized consensus. Advocates, often self-identified introverts or professionals, praise the book for its actionable, structured techniques for building instant rapport, finding the NLP-based framework genuinely useful for improving intentional communication. Detractors dismiss the work as insubstantial repackaging of classic Dale Carnegie principles, criticizing its length as gratuitously padded and its title as gimmicky. A significant point of ethical contention arises around whether its methods constitute skillful connection or calculated manipulation, a debate that hinges entirely on the user's perception of the practitioner's sincerity.